Sense of Direction

Evelyn's babysitter told me that they were stopped at a light and Erika didn't quite know which way to turn. She started getting into the lane to turn right, but Evelyn said, "No, no, you want to go the other way." And she was right!

Playing House

Me: Oh, Evelyn, Calin and Humbert are arguing and now they are crying.
Ev: Why are they crying?
Me: I don't know, let me ask them.
(Calin whispers in my ear.)
Me: Ah, they are arguing over which one of them you love more. Humbert says you love him more and Calin says you love her more. They are upset and sad about it.
Ev: (Turning to address her two favorite dolls.) Oh, guys, you know I love both of you the best.
Me: (heart melting)

Long Weeks

I’ll tell you what, these are some long and crazy weeks! The school year is off to a pretty good start. Adam’s class has a few younger children who are crying, but things are starting to calm down. Evelyn has made some new friends in her class, or so I hear. Both are age four, which does not surprise me as most three year olds are too immature for the type of play she enjoys. She is doing the phonetic object box at school now, which involves matching a label with a short, completely phonetic word with a small dollhouse-size object (think hat, cup, jug, rug, map, etc.) She can now spell simple words on her refrigerator toy with three spaces for letters. It’s so great to see her progressing with all that! She can answer simple addition and subtraction problems with no difficulty and can count reliably up to 20 with beads or counters. She doesn’t know all her tens past twenty, but she can count to 100 with a bit of prompting. Apparently the last teacher in Evelyn’s class was not giving a lot of lessons so she is actually one of the more advanced students in her (very young) class. Not that I care too much about academics, but I want her to have enough stuff to keep her interested in school. She can write the first three letters of her name in block capital letters and my hope is to work with her on writing more this fall. Adam says that’s her biggest deficiency as a second-year student at this point.

Evelyn’s babysitter, Erika, is working with us again. We are so lucky to have her as she says and does exactly what I would do in any situation. I am encouraging Erika to go to school next fall and she is very interested in figuring out the next step in her life. She will turn 20 later this month and it’s time for her to get a move on. Evelyn has an art class on Mondays, a playdate with her best friend from her old school on Tuesdays, and a sports class on Thursdays. She, as usual, prefers to be busy. We are also trialing a childcare sharing arrangement with another little girl Evelyn’s age on Wednesdays and Fridays to see how that goes.

We’ve made a few adjustments to the morning routine. The only time I really have to exercixe is between 6 and 6:30 in the morning. The problem is that Evelyn is often up before 6:30. I can’t get up any earlier than 6 o’clock without severe difficulty and she can’t sleep until 6:30 consistently. So, we put an alarm clock in her room that is set to play extremely soft music at 6:30. If she hears the music when she gets up, she can leave her room, but if she does not, she must wait. It seemed to go alright this morning (our first attempt), but we’ll have to see how the rest of the weeks play out. Of course, I don’t want the alarm clock to wake her, so that’s another thing I want to keep my eye on. Then, from 6:30 to 7:30, I devote my full attention to her. That’s our main play period. Then, at 7:30, a bell goes off and it’s time to get ready for school. This strategy has helped us both. I’m no longer distracted by the clock while we play and she gets my full attention for an hour, but is ready to move when the bell rings. We get dressed, have breakfast, and then get into the car to go.

Our new commute is not too bad. It’s a little more annoying than the old commute, but it actually takes slightly less time. The hard part is getting over six lanes of wall-to-wall traffic until we reach the HOV-2 lane. It’s a little easier in Adam’s car, but I’m managing pretty well in my now 15 year old manual transmission Accord. I’ve been coveting a light blue Honda CR-V lately, but who knows when my car will finally give out? After the ignition problem was resolved (to the tune of $1,000), I haven’t had any further problems. I do have two keys now, one for the door and one for the ignition, but that’s no big deal.

Evelyn’s play has turned even more social, if that’s even possible. She loves to play house and pretend to be a mommy. I adore seeing her parenting techniques because they are, of course, mine. She practices Unconditional and Positive Parenting and it is so great to see her use logic and reason when I, pretending to be a fussy baby, am crying at her. She tries to find out the issue and then works to find compromises to keep everyone involved and happy. I really don’t think she knows what punishment is at this point. She still loves to play doctor and let’s just say there is a lot of surgery going on in our house most days. She likes the blocks she has, but only as a way to build a doctor’s office. She has some little animal figures that each have roles to play—receptionist, nurse, doctor, and, of course, the patients.

We started up her fall swim class a few weeks ago. She got moved up from Bobbers I to Bobbers II after the first class. The new class is a challenge for her, but I suppose that’s a good thing. She’s working on being able to push off and glide underwater through a hoop with her face completely in. She’s one of the best in her class at pushing off from a seated position on the side of the pool, but she’s not so good at kicking. She still has the splashy, bent-knee kick of a toddler. We’re working on that. She’s getting more comfortable with her goggles and is learning how to breathe on the side. I’m worried because there are several new studies showing a link between chlorinated pool exposure and asthma, but it’s hard to know what to do. If we had a pool nearby that used silver to disinfect, that would be ideal, but we don’t have that. I guess I need to advocate for it because it would reduce overall healthcare costs if fewer kids develop asthma.

Evelyn wanted to take an art class this year and has been to two sessions so far with Erika. She seems to be enjoying it more than the last art class we tried. I think her fine motor skills are becoming more refined so it’s just more interesting for her. Ballet starts on Saturday. I’m trying out a new studio for ballet and so far so good.

One weekend morning, Evelyn was complaining that no one was playing with her, etc., etc. and I mentioned to Adam that I’d like to go for a walk. We asked Evelyn if she’d like to go for a family walk and she had a little fit. We explained that it was rude and that we do plenty of things she wants to do and sometimes it’s just nice to do what someone else wants to do. Anyway, I went for the walk alone, but when I returned, she said, “The next time you want to do something by yourself, Mommy, I will go with you.” Uh, thanks, I guess!

She is as exhausting as ever, but getting more delightful every day. I can’t imagine wanting any other kid but her.

Beach Trip 2009

We were only able to do a day trip to the beach this year. Several factors conspired against us staying longer, but we thought we could get all the fun of the beach done in one day if we left early. Evelyn, as usual, picked that morning to have a bit of a lay in, just to throw a wrench into our plans. She has these cycles where she gets more and more sleep deprived and then, very unpredictably, will sleep all the way until 7 or 7:30 and catch up a tiny bit. (I’d be lying if I said her sleep habits have improved at all so let’s just say I’ve mostly made peace with continuing to get up at night and calm, comfort, change a diaper or lay down in her bed. Adam is a great help at night, although it is tough for both of us now that everyone is back to school and work.) Anyway, I had her food all packed and ready to go and our bags assembled by the front door. My parents picked us up in the car and I sat in the back with Ev and a bunch of books, toys, and CD’s. The trip there was uneventful. We had to stop a few times for the restroom, but it was never an issue.

It was great to get out of the car and smell all the beach smells: salty air mixed with cocoa butter, French fries and popcorn. I helped Evelyn change in the bathroom and then we set up our umbrella on the sand. Evelyn was so much happier playing with the sand this year. She was very interested in burying things and using her spinner-wheel toy. I dragged some water up from the ocean for her to use a bit, too. I showed her how to use a mold and how to pack in the slightly wet sand and then flip it over. The look of utter shock on her face when I pulled the mold off was too precious to miss. She was truly amazed! It’s such a rare expression to see and I’m so glad I did.

Then we went down to the surf to see the waves and dip our feet in. Evelyn was slightly nervous when we got close, but she quickly warmed up to the idea of getting quite wet. I held her in and picked her up when the waves came rushing in. Before long, she was asking to go all the way in, but I didn’t have a life jacket for her and was not comfortable with the idea. I told her that it would be too dangerous. She has no natural buoyancy yet and simply sinks when I let her go. I told her it would be too hard to see her in the ocean so we had to stay out on the edge. I would have loved to get in there with her; maybe in a few years, though. We sat on the sand and let the water wash over our legs and we dug in the wet sand. We watched some older kids digging moats and the like, but no one really caught our attention to play together.

We played in the sand a bit more, then in the surf a bit more, then decided it was time for lunch. It was almost 1:30 by that point. I cleaned us up as best I could with the boardwalk shower and then got us dressed. We ate at a pizza restaurant for lunch and Evelyn ate her packed food. I would have liked to get French fries for her, but the allergist has told us to avoid peanut oil and every single shop near the beach fries their potatoes in peanut oil. I bought her two lollipops and a magnet in the shape of an “E” and she was happy with that present instead.

After lunch, we went over to FunLand. Evelyn had not forgotten FunLand she she was there last year. She rode ten rides this year, including the teacups, which were a little intense! I sat right next to her and supported her head and neck as we flew around and around. She saw some other kids raising up their hands, so she did it, too. What a little firecracker—trying for “no hands” at age 3 on a fast ride. She was pointing to some other intense rides, but fortunately she is not tall enough for those yet so I had an easy out. She wanted one that dropped you in free-fall repeatedly and another that turned you upside down and around and around. I think Evelyn inherited my strong stomach because she genuinely seems to enjoy the feeling of an amusement park ride. We did some kiddie rides, too, as well as the carousel.

Then it was time to head home. We were all pretty tired, but, you know Evelyn, there was not even the sign of a nap in the long three-hour drive home. She just got fussy and whiny so I read books and tried to keep her occupied and not feeling too miserable. We got home, had a quick dinner, got in a warm bath and I had her in bed by 8 PM. She really wanted to stay longer at the beach, but I told her next year we’d try for a longer trip. Of course, now she expects a week at the beach next year and is talking about it regularly. The girl sure has a memory.

She started school a few days ago and things seem to be going well. She and Adam are at the new school and she is actually in Adam’s class. His class just had the best mix of kids her age, the biggest classroom, and the smallest number of kids (as well as the best teacher, you know). According to Adam, the kids are friendly and she is being friendly with them. We hope it will be a good year.

Skipping along

Imagine: Evelyn needs to use the toilet to pee, but she wants “company” in the bathroom. Adam is reading the newspaper and doesn’t want to accompany her for the millionth and first time.

Adam—“I don’t want to fight about pee.”
Evelyn—“Can we fight about poop?”

Evelyn has finally reached another gross motor milestone. She can hop on one foot now! She’s on her way to skipping. Her swimming skills are improving. She can move her arms and legs together to propel herself forward, but not while her face is also in the water. I either put a noodle under her arms or hold her belly up underneath. She can jump in and grab onto a noodle and then kick herself over to the ladder. She is willing to wear her goggles some of the time and seems to like them once she gets used to them a bit. I think we’ll sign up for another swim class in the fall.

Summertime and the livin' is easy

I do like the summertime. Adam's been home with Evelyn and, while I am still at work every day, it's much more relaxing to come home to a clean house and sometimes even dinner. Evelyn and I have been going to the pool quite a bit and she is coming along very nicely in the water. She is really trying to move her arms and legs together and sometimes even turns her head to breathe to the side. Her one downfall is that she is a bit too confident and will sometimes let go of her noodle if she's got one. Of course, I am right beside her all the time. She still loves jumping in from the side. I've gotten her to jump in and grab the noodle so she doesn't need me at all, which is fun for her. I did buy her water wings, but she doesn't really like them so we don't use them much.

Evelyn did one week of morning ballet camp with her best friend and cousins and she had a blast. I got to see their show on the last day and Evelyn kept up very well in the performance, though she was the youngest in the class. She is quite good, really, and is getting close to being able to skip and hold her balance for more than a second. I took some pictures but haven't gotten them off the camera yet. She's in gymnastics camp this week and I got to see her walk a wide, but tall, balance beam without any assistance today. She's working on somersaults and barrel rolls and jumping off tall things. She keeps up very well with the older kids and certainly gets a workout. It's her first experience eating lunch elsewhere every day since the camp runs from 10:30-1:30 and it's good to see that she consistently eats all her lunch and hasn't had any allergic reactions. One of the things I like best about Evelyn is that she follows the rules. It's just such a pleasure to take her places and experience new things. I don't worry about her at all really. She is a happy kid and developing so beautifully.

We went to California on our summer vacation over the July 4th weekend. It was a very smooth trip and Evelyn even dealt with the time change much better than I expected. She had a harder time adjusting when we came home, but it was very encouraging to see that we can now travel as a family without me wanting to pull my hair out. We hung out with my brother and his family and Evelyn enjoyed playing with her cousin very much. The food in California is certainly delicious and we were fed wonderfully. Evelyn enjoyed the rental car and the hotel and did great on the long plane ride both ways. We saw San Francisco, rode a trolley, found a safe cookie at a coffee shop that was very tasty, and played in a nice, sandy park. We also met one of my internet friends who is due with her first in October and gave her all of Ev's old cloth diapers. I'm glad to have met her. Now, why can't I meet just one person I like that lives near me???

Work is pretty horrible, especially since the one person I kind-of had a friendship with quit suddenly due to a family crisis. My boss seems to think I have a 50% job and can't figure out where the rest of my time is going. I work all day really hard and there is just a LOT of work. And a lot of re-work (not due to me). So, anyway, I need to start looking for another option, but it will be easier once Ev is in school full-day and there is less incentive for me to see her at lunchtime. She will probably be an all-day kid by next fall so just one more year should do it. I did realize that detail work is not my strong point. I've always known this, but my brain just doesn't do details as well as it does big ideas. I just can't seem to focus on details all the time, which is what this job requires. Still, I've got a salary and health insurance and I work 1 mile from my house so I'm not complaining too bad. The real issue is that my company is a family owned business and that always poses a set of challenges that are hard to overcome if you aren't in the family.

I'm off to adult ballet camp in a month and I'm really looking forward to learning some technique that I never really was taught. It's going to be expensive, but I've been doing a few side jobs to earn some extra cash so I think I can cover most of the expense with my earnings from that. I'd really like to lose this last five pounds that I've got hanging around before I go, but I'm not beating myself up over it.

Evelyn still requires a full adult's attention practically all the time. It's pretty frustrating since she has been this way since birth. It's easy for someone to say it would be better if she had a sibling, but the fact is that the age difference would have precluded any type of playing together situation even now. At most, her sibling would be 9 months old and I have a hard time believing that it would help us out. Maybe in another year it would, but it was not to be. Still, I'm very proud of Evelyn and so lucky that she is such a great kid. Here are some things I can remember from her recently:

--Are the sun and the moon the same thing?
--How can you poop and pee at the same time?
--Me: Did you see any animals today [in San Francisco]? Ev: No, not really, just some birds. Just some eagles and bluebirds and things like that.
--Is that safe? (She is good about asking about whether a food is safe now.)
--I have to pee. I need some help. No, I just need some company.
--Me: Did you have a good time at gymnastics camp? Ev: Oh, yeah. [nodding vigorously]

Vacation to Greenwich

We drove up to Greenwich, CT to visit some friends over Memorial Day weekend. Evelyn did great in the car both ways and, although she didn't sleep great there, she didn't do badly either. She managed to get about 10 hours of sleep both nights we were there, all in one chunk from 7:30-5:30. In other words, just enough to keep everyone in decent spirits. She slept in a pack-n-play next to the sofa bed we were one. We stayed just the right amount of time, too, arriving Saturday at noon and leaving by 7:30 AM on Monday morning. Our friends were great hosts and both Adam and I pigged out on delicious food that we didn't have to purchase, cook, or clean up. Heaven. We went to New York City on the train on Sunday, which Evelyn enjoyed. We went to the American Girl Doll store and think we picked out her Christmas present for this year. I've tried over the years to buy different dolls that I could make clothing for, but the fact is, the patterns are all made for the American Girl Dolls and I haven't had much luck adapting the patterns. So, I'm just going to bite the bullet and buy one of their dolls so I can make Evelyn a wardrobe for her. There is a doll that looks a lot like Evelyn so we think we'll go with that one. Then we went to FAO Schwartz to look around. I didn't get too many pictures, but hopefully a few came out.

Evelyn made a great impression on our hosts and they commented several times about how terrific a kid she is. It helped that she was on good behavior around strangers, but she is also just a nice kid. There was a neat park that we went to that had just the right amount of challenging equipment for Evelyn. We all had a great time and it was a nice vacation. It gives me hope that our vacation to San Francisco in July will be a good time, too. I do worry about the time change, though. We'll see how it goes. At any rate, things are far better than they were when Evelyn was younger.

I'm finally making Evelyn a quilt. She wanted a pink and orange quilt and, although I was initially hesitant to use that color combination, it's coming out very well. I'm hoping this will be one she'll have for a long time.

I'm home sick today from work. I think I either have a very bad cold or the flu. I've got a fever, chills, achey joints, a terrible headache, and a very sore throat. I'm keeping away from Ev until this runs its course. I haven't taken a sick day yet, but I do hate to give up the day since my time off is all rolled into one bucket for doctor appointments, sick leave, vacation time, and any time I take with Evelyn.

Our local pool is open now, but it's still to chilly to go swimming. I'm looking forward to going there a lot this summer.